Two things have surprised me regularly in this process of starting a new church. The first is the loneliness. As someone who has always been part of a church community, the isolation has surprised me. Yes, I have been meeting new people and have enjoyed hearing their stories but those relationships are new. I have worked by getting up and going to a building full of people who collaborate with me and are there for feedback and laughter for the last six years. Now I have to make myself get dressed and leave the house everyday with a new agenda of meeting people and getting my work done. I have found myself feeling close the the people who check me out in a restaurant or store because they have been nice to me in their job of customer service. That’s when I realized how lonely I was. My new community is small and we don’t yet have the consistency of a weekly worship service. My friends are new and we haven’t developed the depth of relationship that will come yet and I am missing my old friends and colleagues. None of my training mentioned this aspect of the new church start so it surprised me. My daughter’s cat has tried to comfort me. No matter where I sit in our house, he follows me and lays near by or demands my attention by laying on the keyboard or book I am trying to use. I am having to check myself for cat hair before I can leave the house now.
The other thing that has surprised me is the people who have reached out and contacted me about a person who lives in my area. I have had phone calls, emails and cards from people who want to tell me about a person they know who I should reach out to. I have actually started a file for the information so I can be intentional about making sure I follow up with every one. I even knocked on the door of someone’s home who did not know I was coming because all I had been given was an address for the lead. It reminds me of dating, which I haven’t done in 20 years, because of the constant potential for rejection. In this process, I have met some lovely and wonderful people. I have to rely on God’s plan and purpose for this church and push through my fears. It is an amazing journey that is defiantly not for everyone.
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